Parents often worry they are not doing a good job. We hold ourselves to impossibly high standards as we guide our children to adulthood and compare ourselves to other parents. We look for measurable signs to validate how we are doing raising our children.
The old saying, “you won’t know if you did a good job with your child until they are 35” has some truth to it.We all want our children to become well-functioning successful adults and sometimes that takes time. However, other signs can show you how you are doing much earlier.
5 signs you are an awesome parent
- Your child comes to you when hurt or facing a problem
If your child seeks you out when needing help, it means you have provided a secure base for them. Encourage this behavior by providing a non-judgemental place where open communication is welcome. The issue is important to your child even if it seems small to you.
- Your child displays a range of emotions in front of you
Sometimes these big emotions are badly timed or embarrassing when they happen in public, but your child being comfortable expressing themselves is a good sign they feel emotionally safe with you. The time to worry is when kids hide their feelings from their parents. It’s best to remain calm and pay attention to your child. Try to find out what’s causing the extreme emotions.
- You provide clear feedback to your child that is constructive, not critical or judgemental
Good parents avoid labels when their child misbehaves. They focus on the behavior, avoiding name calling such as bad, naughty, lazy, etc. This way the child knows you love them, you just don’t like their behavior.
- You encourage your child to pursue activities in which they are interested, not those you decide they should pursue
Exploring interests and talents help children to develop a sense of achievement. Being involved also keeps kids busy and out of trouble. Excellent parents become interested in those activities that interest their child and do not push them to take on experiences that meet their own interests.
- You admit to your mistakes and repair them
None of us handle every situation perfectly. Some days we are more patient than others. If you yell, over-react or otherwise feel you were not your best self with your child, it is important to let them know you made a mistake and explain how you wished you had reacted. Doing so goes along way toward repairing hurt feelings or a rupture in the relationship.
All any child can want is to be loved and to feel safe and cared for. Forgive yourself when you don’t measure up to your own standards and step back to look at the big picture. You might be doing a better job than you think.