The pain of feeling left out of the “mom” group and what I learned from it

kindness

 

Most of us have experienced feeling left out at one time or another. One would think that by the time we were moms we would not still feel hurt when it happens, but unfortunately it still stings.

Years ago, I vividly remember approaching three other moms when dropping off my child for the first time at a new preschool. I smiled shyly and told them I was a first-timer at this school, hoping for a warm response. Instead I received blank stares. The moms turned away from me to resume their conversation, leaving me feeling embarrassed and awkward. It may be that I intruded in the middle of a deep and important conversation, or that these moms had not seen each other in awhile and were preoccupied with catching up. Or maybe they were just mean moms. Whatever the reason, I felt invisible and it didn’t feel good.

By the time I saw these women again, I had thought alot about the experience. Instead of being angry, I was grateful to them. Their unwelcoming behavior reminded me that kindness is important. How you treat people matters. A smile or a nice remark can make someone’s day and help prevent those feelings of isolation so common with new moms. I decided to use what happened that first day at the preschool as a learning experience to prompt me to make an effort to welcome others even when I am busy or having a bad day.

 

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